In Good Company is a monthly membership for thoughtful, emotionally aware people who want their relationships to feel easy; respectful; moving forward freely; and free of nonsense conflicts, power struggles, attachment issues, and stuff that never resolves.

Maybe you’re looking for a partner and want to know how to date without settling or losing your mind. And then when you meet someone, you want to know how to build the relationship you’ve longed for…but you’ve never actually done it before.
Maybe you’re in a relationship that struggles with circular fights that don’t resolve or patterns that keep bringing you back to the same pain and you’re over it and ready to move forward.
Maybe your relationship is the best you’ve ever had and you know it’s right but you juuuust need to tackle a few stubborn dynamics or decisions in order to settle all the way in (and you’d also love to be around those doing relationships with the same values).
Maybe you’re recovering from divorce or breakup and don’t want to replicate the same dynamic again.
Maybe you’re great in partnership but struggle to have the sort of family, community, friend-group, or collegial relationships that feel reciprocal, equal, and easy.
Maybe you’ve got toxic people in your life like family members or coworkers that you can’t just opt out of and you need to know how to navigate them without it ruining you for the day or week or month.

These relationships may look different, but when we’re striving to create relationships that are equal and secure, the central questions are the same.

How do I both accept someone else for who they are and what they need and also get my needs met here (without constant negotiation)?

How do I build relationships that actually help me grow rather than coddle my past pains..and will that still feel fun and exciting rather than like work?

How do I build a dynamic that is safe for both of us but that also builds a foundation of maturity where we know that “relational safety” isn’t the holy grail we think it is?

And in addition to all of these bigger questions, day to day, we’re all just wondering what the best pathway through tension or conflict is and how to get back to connection. We don’t want to feel abandoned nor do we want to feel engulfed.

There are universal patterns inside your relational difficulties and I’ve spent 20 years studying them, explaining them with clarity, and helping clients unwind and get free from them. This is why In Good Company is for individuals, couples, and those working on family or work relationships—because all relationships bring up the same big questions.

Curriculum

We have inherited ideas about how relationships should look from our families, our cultures, and the zeitgeist of self help, therapy, coaching, and wellness. Most of what we have taken in has poisoned our chances at creating connections that’re truly equal, collaborative, and that can deftly help carry us through the tumult and challenges of life.

Instead, we continue to create models of relationship that (whether we know it or not) are patriarchal, authoritarian, or have inequality and immaturity built in. It’s what we’ve been shown, what we’ve been taught, and it’s the way most folks out there are doing it. And we have very few models of what it looks like to have two or more adults collaborate in a mature, healthy, and empowered way.

I’m often dismayed that even the teachers of “healthy relationships” don’t seem to be walking their talk or offering sophisticated or nuanced enough support for people who want equality in their relationships. Too often their suggestions are about gender roles, more agreements, more coddling of each other’s triggers in the name of being “conscious,” and more centering of each other’s feelings.

Instead we need to be centering maturity, mutuality, joy, reciprocity, collaboration, generosity, individual work, and teamwork to help each other overcome what’s in the way of us being capable of showing up mature, personally responsible, trusting, and open so that we can create relationships that can sustain us.

I have found that most people are confused about what I’d call our “true needs”---so we also need to understand what our true needs are so we can build foundations for healthy dynamics that actually work for us.

Why a Group

We are also living through a time when isolation is being treated as normal, and in which we perform, even though it’s making us profoundly unwell. We don’t talk with others as honestly as we could in a sophisticated way about our relationship dynamics and if we do, we hear the same lackluster, not-quite-nuanced-enough advice parroted back at us even though we are asking for something more sophisticated.

In Good Company is different. Yes, I will bring 20 years of experience, but I will not be the only person in the room with something valuable to offer.

My practice has grown almost entirely through your word of mouth for 20 years. You have sent me your friends, partners, siblings, parents, former partners, and people you love. Again and again, I have found myself thinking about how much you would appreciate one another and how much wisdom is sitting inside this wider community that I’ve wanted to bring together.

In a way, you are already a community. In Good Company is my invitation to finally bring you into the same room. I think you’ll genuinely enjoy and benefit from knowing each other. :)

True, sometimes you need the perspective of a therapist. And sometimes you need to hear from someone who has lived through the journey before you. Maybe you need to hear another person ask the question you didn’t yet know was your same issue. Sometimes being in the field and just feeling the way someone else is doing something opens a new possibility for you. Maybe what helps is not another analysis of the problem but encouragement, resonance, laughter, practical ideas, or the relief of realizing it’s normal and you’re not getting it all wrong.

Show up to our group calls the same way you would for a session with me. Bring the conversations that went sideways. Bring the dynamic you’re struggling with. Bring the question echoing in your mind while you’re driving or the interaction that lit a fire in you. Bring the pattern you haven’t cracked, the dream you haven’t realized, the relationship that’s your achilles heel. Bring what you’re celebrating, what’s unresolved, what hurts, what isn’t working. And if you don’t have something burning, come listen and learn because I will work with each person or couple in ways relevant to everyone.

This is why In Good Company is happening in a group format.

You will arrive with needs, questions, and places where you want support, but you will also arrive with a life you have lived, things you have survived, perspectives no one else in the room will have, and wisdom that may be exactly what another person needs to hear.

There will be moments when the community holds you and moments when something you share is a great gift to someone else. You don’t have to arrive healed, overly available, or certain of what you have to offer. No one will be expected to provide care beyond their capacity.

However, showing up ready to both receive and contribute is very similar to how you show up to create an equal relationship dynamic, so our practice together will be vital to your journey.

I know this kind of gathering can be transformative because, alongside my couples work, I spent 15 years facilitating women’s groups where people came together to talk honestly about their lives, listen to one another, and connect.

What’s Included

Here’s how you’ll be supported inside In Good Company:

Two 75-minute group coaching calls per month where you get to ask for attuned support from me and the community. I’ll offer specific, nuanced support and also teach to the whole group in ways everyone benefits from.
Two “office hours” times each month where I’ll be responding to your written or voice note messages in the group telegram thread for added support.
A monthly peer support call so you all can break into small groups and connect with all the wisdom in the wider community.
Monthly workshops from me that will help you build equal relationships. These are things like How to Deal with a Narcissist, How to Build Earned Secure Attachment (and you can be sure it’s not the same tired stuff you hear elsewhere), How to Date without Losing Your Mind, and more.
An ongoing community space. A place to share, reflect, practice, celebrate breakthroughs, learn from one another, and stay connected between calls. You’ll be encouraged to connect. I’ll also drop in with spontaneous wisdom or riff on something I think everyone in the group will want to learn from.
In times of deeper need, 20% off one session with me each calendar month for situations where you really do need a full hour (percentage stays 20% off even as my fee rises)
10% off any additional private sessions that month (percentage stays 10% off even as my fee rises)

Come on your own or bring a partner, friend, sibling, or someone else you’re growing alongside. You’ll meet other people doing the work too and you’ll learn so much from each other.

Pricing

Founding Members Rate is $150/month or $200 for a couple.

This rate will only be offered until Dec 1 and never again.
If you refer anyone who joins, you and they BOTH get a free month and there’s no limit to how many of these you can redeem.
After Dec 1, the rate goes up to $200/month or $250 for a couple.

Free Open House Q+A

On Tuesday, Nov 10 at 3pm mountain time, I’m hosting a free Open House Q+A so come get your questions answered about the group!

Sign Up

If you already know you want in, sign up for In Good Company here

FAQ

Do I need to attend all the calls? What level of participation is ok?
Of course I encourage participation so that you get something out of being here, but use the aspects of the group that most interest you, fit with your schedule, and feel right. Your involvement may wax and wane as you go through seasons in your relationships. I priced the group so that if you came to everything it’d feel like a steal, but if you just plugged in where you wanted to, you wouldn’t feel that you were paying for too much.

How does it work if I join with a partner?
Sometimes you might come to a call together because you want couples coaching for something in your relationship. But each of you might also show up to a call or a chat thread or a workshop as individuals working with other relationships in your lives. All of it is welcome.

What about privacy? Sharing in a group freaks me out a bit.
I require all members to agree to confidentiality. This space doesn’t work without the trust that your story, process, and name won’t be shared outside the group by anyone and for any reason. This is a strict agreement to help protect the space.

As for the uncertainty or shyness of sharing in a group. After running groups for more than 20 years, I have found that 4 things help. (1) When it’s part of the norm of a group that everyone is sharing, and (2) when they find that the vulnerability doesn’t kill them, and (3) when they’re met with warmth and understanding from everyone else, it becomes much much easier and more comfortable. The fourth thing that helps is when people remember that even though it can be difficult, most of what is wonderful about life comes to us when we are willing to be open.

What does it mean to be part of the founding cohort?
This is exciting! It means you’ve been personally invited by me because I know you’ll bring exactly the kind of energy this group needs. It also means that you’re getting lower pricing forever when you sign up before Dec 1. And finally, it means that just as my practice has been built by referrals, I’m also trusting you to invite your people…and both you and they get a free month with no limit to how many.

How many people will be in the group?
Unlimited. I’m excited about this part too…unlike therapy with me, where I can never make more sessions in a week, the more people that join the group, the more programming I’m able to add. More calls with me so you can show up when it’s convenient for you and the group size stays manageable, more coaches/therapists offering different perspectives, more guest teachers, more workshops, etc and you just plug in for whatever suits your needs.

Is this a gender normative, cis-het space? I have an identity or relationship structure that is often marginalized. Will I be welcome?
Absolutely and please come. My view of equal relationship means that patriarchal norms (including gender norms and ideas about relationship structures) are not only not welcome here, but they are actively toxic to our shared goals of equal relationships. I do not speak about relationships in ways that are heteronormative. For what it’s worth, I’m also not straight (although I’m married to a cishet feminist man). If you have further questions or concerns about this, I’m happy to talk with you. Just reach out.

Bring your additional questions to the Free Open House Q+A! You’ll also get an email sequence in the coming days where I’ve done my best to answer everything for you.